farewell mecca

its currently 22:38 in mecca and i'm on the van heading to jeddah airport & balik Malaysiaaaa 💗💗 . & yea its official i have wheelchair-aphobia. ever since we arrived, we had to rush to everywhere we go including with those prickled ones. and ive always had been scared of getting hit by a trolley, wheelchair & such. though people told me not to think about bad things during my stay at Tanah Haram ((cause it'll happen)) , i smh did. so unfortunately on our way to tawaf wida' (which is what all jemaah have to do on the last day in mecca before going out of tanah haram) there was one staff in a rush while pushing a wheelchair, then bam he accidently bumped into my leg, humans make mistakes so i was okay. but obviously it hurts, i checked it while we were on the escalator and it was fine besides the torn socks tho haha. so we walked towards our own directions and i took a cup of zam zam water. when i was about to drink, ibu scolded me for not saying my du'a which was "ya allah ya tuhanku kau terangkanlah pintu hatiku, kau murahkanlah rezeki ku, kau jauhkanlah penyakit daripada hidupku" but i fought back and said i recited my bismillah as she told me to in madinah. but what i didn't remember was the part after bismillah. (p/s; im so grateful to have a mother who's always patient with my grumpy attitude, i love her no matter what. kkk sambung). when we sat down in our saf, i checked once again for confirmation cause I didn't want to pray with blood dripping on the carpet and to my surprise it was already bleeding. 

I quickly took out some tissue papers & a bottle of water spray to clean it up.. but someone was faster. guess who? yes, my mother. she pour some zam zam water onto it and gave me wet tissues to wipe it whenever it bleeds more.

eventhough she was still mad at me for fighting back, she still cares. and that is why i love her .

Have u ever went through a déjà vu? yea ive went through it quite a lot (( which is probably the main reason im terrified of the dark because most of my nightmares are in the dark. whoops back to the story )). there was one of the dreams i had that happened to me in mecca (( i remember crying the next day ))  ibu was so mad at me & she keeps on scolding me. hani on the other hand told me she was so worried. HOW CAN I NOT LOVE HER 😭. 

you know how they say, "older people are much more sensitive at heart" & trust me on that one cause tonight I realised that ibu was growing old, for the past few days she had always been the one scolding those who were pain in the ass to us but today watching her cry & tired having to push herself through a crowd where theres pushing everywhere plus knowing it is the last time we'll be admiring the beauty of the kaabah.. i was speechless. how i always neglected to show that i cared so much for her. at that moment,  i had this urge of scolding everyone who pushed her and 'protect' her & my dad with my arm so one will come close. speaking of that, let me tell u another story in raudhah at masjid al nabawi in madinah al munawarrah where we go closer to greet our prophet muhammad saw❤️. going in there requires a lot of patience. all the waiting & pushing, we even saw an indonesian muttawif fighting for our place and alhamdulilah the staff there  understood and tried to make the situation right and alhamdulillah once again for allah had gave us a place infront of the entrance and there we came as one with the indonesians and protected each other. and alhamdulillah once more, we stepped on the raudhah carpet & had the opportunity of solat sunat in there. ibu protected us while everyone was pushing. srsly you'll cry seeing how everyone is forcing theirselves to reach infront. and having 4 grandmas behind me rlly made my gym workouts worth it. ((memang kat mecca & madinah , u have to be tough to fight those pushing around. u gotta be selfish)). and alhamdulillah once again on how allah made me the happiest girl in the world , why? because me & hani jd pagar to protect aunties & grandmas to solat from getting smushed by others. && the part where i loved the most was when they smiled to say thank you and also when one of them kissed our cheeks with a great smile while saying "alhamdulillah" 

and as usual i don't know how to end this long story . so i'll just make one up :))

my dear readers, appreciate your mother & father. they sacrificed a lot for you. though i told you more about my mother, my father did so much for me too. they both did.  they're pillars to my strength and thanks to them, i finally stepped into tanah haram . therefore i'm forcing u to learn to love and never neglect to show u care for them. as they grow old, they get more sensitive so bear with it because they did with your shenanigans when you were younger. k thats all from me xx thank u for reading.