fix you

if i stop reaching out to fix things. if i stop walking on eggshells to protect u. if i stop holding myself back from acting the way u do & not reason things with "maybe this is why god made us two". if i stop trying to see the good things in u. will we still be two?

i feel so many things slipping away but i got too tired of chasing. so I'm just gonna let myself sink in the separation anxiety birthed from the consciousness, in hopes gets too much to the extent of me numbing to it. by then hopefully, i won't feel too bothered of doing what i want & need for myself. since i'm an adult now, my people pleasing habit should slowly be minimized to make sure i'm doing the most for myself.

i used to think being the victim is better than being the bad person but smh as an adult, my perspective changed along with the ignorance people have shown me. how the world has proven enough that we are all on our own. how things in our lives alters to our choices in literally e y e r y thing being able to have a good heart is a blessing, it is something i always try so hard to obtain & keep consistent but i'm only a human.

how holy does one can be. how nice can one be. how mean can one be. i've been so hard on myself. thinking everyone thinks like me. while i'm stressing myself thinking i've jeopardized something, the other party is out there living their lives not even realizing i'm stuck in the past. someone comes & tells you "you're a fool for doing that to you" & you don't know what to feel cause you know they were right. so now you want to fix things. just this time, not with someone else but with you