final goodbye.

i've warned you & gave you time again and again for the past 4 years. you took me for granted. in my point of view, i wasn't loved.


took you seeing me with another guy to make you realize i was worth fighting & crying for but at that moment i was already crashing out from the heartbreak & depression of being fumbled by the only person i've ever trusted my whole, defended without knowing the real truth just because it was you so, 


from what i see, you feel like leaving me for her seems like the bestest decision. your rational thought & heart has finally realigned again unlike when you were with me kan ? 


it was just a phase. a lesson. i wasn't loved, i was just liked. you never planned to stay so go but promise me you'll never come back bcs when i set my head on something, i'll stick to it. i know you're scared and if you are reading this (which i know you would), fight for me one last time like i am fighting against what feels like the whole world rn, just to defend u.


prove me right. help me prove to them that you're worth it. 


but if this doesn't reach you in ways i wished it would, let this be my final goodbye because my parents and everyone i love that loves me back does not deserve to feel this helpless; watching me ruin myself just bcs i feel guilty for being strong. 


ramai yang berharap kat i. i need to make them proud and happy and tenang bila they look at me. i owe them my life. i owe myself happiness. i owe myself love. 


i gave you everything i had but if it was not enough to make you stay through my mistakes, then i'll let you go because i cant force someone to love me let alone be the man they needed to.  i've been in the family related industry long enough to know, real men will do whatever it takes to make sure the woman they love IS LOVED & taken care of which clearly in our case, 


a. you're not a real man yet

b. i'm not the woman you truly want

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fly, Birdie Fly ! by Nik Nylea

Fly, Birdie Fly !  used to be stuck in your arms had to put you first no matter what  like youre some kind of king   but oh its finally over  and im breaking free being the queen im supposed to be  and everyone is happy for me  but why do i still think about you like youre my responsibility oh dearself, listen to your heart out please as it tells you to fly birdie fly  youre now free from the chains go take all the chances and laugh all the jokes with the ones you missed go plead for forgiveness and ask for your loved ones back into your arms fly birdie fly, youre now free from the chains the chains that drags you down, away from everyone else.  i remember how you cry on the floor wishing it to let go, all you wanted was to fly high enjoy th blue sky and love the flight  and all youre getting was the rough time feeling so uptight everything holding you down and now youre fr...
Read more

Good One 💙 by Nik Nylea

Good One  theres been a wall between us,  all this time . its always me trynna break it down, to the ground. its always one by one, brick by brick, but u build it all up again. you dont know what i did just to get to u you dont know what i go through just for you  ive became someone im not  just for you, just to get to you but still kau pergi dan dtg ikut suka , biarkan ku di sini terluka , aku kau i dont know whos the bad whos the good im confused , well they say im the bad one & ur the good one,  & i think its the truth. its late night & i'm still thinking of you lyrics messed up & my thoughts are too they say a month or 2 i'll forget abt u  but now its more than 2 & its 2am  & i'm still thinking of you  but still kau pergi dan dtg ikut suka , biarkan ku di sini terluka , aku kau i dont know whos the bad whos the good im confused , well they say im ...
Read more

Dear 19, by Nik Nylea

Dear 19,  Chords :  Am F C G  on the day we first met , my eyes already set on you. you wore stripes backed with white your hair perfectly on the side though i tried to not look, still i find myself facing you though i tried to not focus on you but  when you started talking, i did what i didnt wanna do at first i thought i fell for your looks  i thought it was because of your cute smile but the way you brought yourself to the world  the way you spoke about it in your eyes,  that 'to good to be true' heart of yours, was what made my heart melt  and lets you into my world. you were there from morning to night, and sometimes at 3 AM  asked me to date you and when i finally want to you decided to be just friends and sadly you faded, and sadly we changed, there were no more deep conversations boy where are you know, why arent you here like how you used to be  ...
Read more