Becca and Harper

Assalamualaikum, 

This is your girl Nylea and shes back with a heavy heart and a headache. 

I just finished watching 'Set it Up' on Netlix and right now as i'm writing, 

i'm listening to 'When it Don't Come Easy' by Sleeping At Last. 

So, today i woke up at nine o'clock in the morning and prepped a kid who slept over 

for her swimming classes at ten o'clock. I was supposed to wait for my uncle and grandmother

but I fell asleep waiting. Woke up at an hour after 12, panicking for if i've made my guest wait for too long or i've dissapointed my mother by being irresponsible but fortunately all was well. I woke up to perform my Dhuhr prayers then a thing after another. 

Clock striked three and I got ready to go play badmintion with my friends at four. 

We went out and played until five, well okay maybe we stole a few minutes but the abang 

said nothing so we're good i guess?? We took pictures of our sweaty-self and made sure the court was our background to prove we actually played. We took pictures at the car after recording a whole five minutes of our quirkiness. Then we said bye to the boys and start heading back to send me. On the way, we made a pit-stop at BĀO. We took the guitar hanging on the wall and played it. Me and Roza were much happier because he drink was on Mishe (Thanks bud ! ily lots xx).

Reached home, lazed a little. Went out for dinner. Sent back the kid and his brother who slept over. 

Then it gets quieter after two of my brother's friend went home. I showered and went to take a bottle of  mineral water because I had a headache. Honestly i dont know what it was but it felt like brain freeze but anyways it was a bit at ease as I agreed to finally barge into the AS sister videocalling sesh. Sadly the lil one was asleep, yes Iesya i'm talking about you. I was having a good time until I suddenly felt a sense of emptiness and whatever happening inside my head physically and mentally is not helping me.

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I just finished watching 'Set it Up' on Netlix and right now as i'm writing, 

i'm listening to 'When it Don't Come Easy' by Sleeping At Last. 

I used to find closure by writing, by writing songs and simply listeining to soft music.

They gave me positivity and strenght through throwing myself out to embrace my 

falls, my failures, my sadness. The things that were bugging my mind

I felt guilty of blaming people of my incapability 

to create things as free as i could once upon a time. 
I let a one person opinion, a view of a 'friend' disrupt my passion. 

I used to fear nothing and wrote like those birds roaming freely up above. 

I wrote nothin but purely my thoughts. 

Just like Harper, I gave myself reasons to not write.
I allowed myself to procastinate.
Little did I know, the more I wait, the lesser of emotions I had to gave. 

I'm willing to change, I promise.

I'l start writing from time to time and not let myself be dwelled into insecurities.
I will gather as much motivation and muster up as much courage to fight all my low self-esteem.
Just like what Harper's bestfriend, Becca told her :

"You can't make it better until you actually do it !"

To ibu's friend who reads my entries, you're one of the reason i'm writing again today.