A new start

someone who would understand even when i'm mumbling in english. even when i'm super happy, crying of hatred, mad and everything else. each piece of that person, i'll promise to love for being my source of happiness.. but somehow i cant please everyone who managed to make me happy 😔 and im deeply sorry if i had ever hurt you badly. i feel like a kid growing in a nutshell full of rules. So many boundaries that i'm scared one day i wont be able to control myself when i'm free. i need guidance, i dont rlly want to be treated as a young lady.. Yet. I wanna be free as a girl and have fun not having to be insecure but instead care less about people judging me all around. Having to accept the fact that i'll be fifteen makes me cry everynight realizing i'll be losing so many more people on the way .. I cant. Im not good with farewells. Not good with saying goodbyes. I'm good at faking it and gosh only god knows how it rips me apart when I have to be apart with people I developed care and love towards. praying for a better year than the past . I know this year would be a much more tougher one for me but please pick me up when i fall . I'm not strong like every other girls out there. I'm not a strong shield but i'll try my best to be a better person 😔 

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